Siesta Hour

October.

He wouldn't sleep. Not even to close his eyes and be still. He had began to yawn, but still he preferred to sit up and talk in single-word mono-syllables, ride giddy-up on piled-up pillows, and burrow under the blankets like a green-and-orange flowered ghost.

I pleaded and cajoled, scolded and screeched. I fabricated stories of red-eyed furry creatures with long sharp teeth that would burst from the windows and swallow noisy sleepless children whole. But siesta hour was fast approaching its zenith, and not a single grain from the sandman's potent arsenal had found its way into this little boy's eyes.

I was sleepy and irritable. Manong Woog, also sleepy and irritable, had scrunched into a tight ball at one corner of the bed by the wall, protecting his tenders from energetic kicks and overly enthusiastic toddler tackles. In spite of the air-conditioning, in spite of the sweetly drugging sleepy-weepy music on the cd player, in spite of my rhythmic patting of his plump thigh, Eli remained wired on the adrenalin of his very youth.

Frustrated beyond all reason, I seized about for something substantial to throw at his shrieking, bouncing self and I chanced upon Goofy, one of the stuffed animals that had taken permanent residence on his bed. Goofy stared back at me with such insufferable dumbness, sure of his place in the face of my son's sleeplessness that a red un-motherly rage shut down all sense of reason.

In front of my happy frolicking son, I started to violently slap Goofy's face. Left and right. Left and right. All the while shouting: “You horrid little dog! I'm mad at you! Mad! Go to sleep, now!”

Not content, I grabbed hold of Alligator, an ancient 3-foot relic dating back from my own childhood. I stretched poor Alligator's mouth wide by two of his remaining chicklet teeth and yelled at his soft green non-ear: “Set a good example, you %^&*@ ! Close your eyes and go to sleep! You're keeping Manong Woog awake!”

Pooh with his yellow belly fat was not spared the force of my wrath, neither was Mr. Monkey or Barney or Blue Bear. I was on a roll, vaguely aware that Eli had gone very still in the middle of the chaos of pillows and piles of blankets.

I seized Goofy on my return trip, ready for another lambasting rerun, but Eli snatched him back from my grasp with a whimper. His eyes were swimming in unshed tears and his lower lip a 5-kilo piece of blubber whose ends were quivering downwards to his collarbone. Sniffling, he crushed Goofy to his chest and gathered the rest of his stuffed menagerie closer about him. He was asleep in two point four seconds.

Behind me, Woog gave a hearty sigh of relief as he settled in for some deep slumber of his own.

Gazing at my sleeping sons, I debated whether I did the right thing. I may have solved the problem at hand, but the long-term consequences might very well translate to an adult Eli spending long hours on his therapist's couch trying to rid himself of the replaying images of his mother's stuffed animal abuse.

But then again, didn't I just teach him the value of empathy?

Feeling better about myself – after a fashion – my own sweet siesta hour began.

Zzzz-zzzz.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

What do you call a toddler-to-be who has just discovered the joys of climbing stairs?

"Eli! Stop! Get Away From There!"

... and a lot of other panic-based expletives better left within the private confines of our apartment.

Eli is thirteen months old and has yet to take his first step. He pulls himself up and navigates among the furniture, letting go to stand alone for minutes at a time, only to lose confidence and fall back down on hands and knees to speed-crawl his way across the floor.

He has tried getting a leg up the water dispenser bottle. Ho-hum. And the sack of rice. Boooring. Then right about the same time his Manong Woog dispensed with afternoon naps altogether, he discovered the stairs. All two sets of them.

In a cautiously daring expedition, he scooted over to the vertical wonder from whence he'd often observed giants going up and down. Pullling himself up the first step, he lifted one leg, trembling. Then back down. Leg up again. Then back down.

Finally, resolutely locking his full lower lip, he brought himself up two steps before we all turned our heads to check on his whereabouts. Yaya screamed. Needless to say, we screamed along with her.

Hair-raising episode notwithstanding, we are tentatively looking to see how this latest caper goes. Under extremely close supervision, of course. Who knows, we may just be raising the future rock climbing champion.

In pretty much the same way champions are made, Woog just recently decided to champion his own cause - constant wakeful awareness. In particular, during the period normally designated for his afternoon nap.

I read up on afternoon naps for children and discovered that around this stage, five-year-olds normally forsake siesta for other worthier pursuits - like Disney Channel marathons or engaging in wrestling matches with a five-inch Transformers action figure.

However, put in the perspective of his slight, constantly asthmatic figure, his father and I had to put our foot down. It isn't an amusing pasttime having to painstakingly explain the addition of two-digit numerals while your drowsy student hangs his head sleepily during homework nights. By 8pm, he is a useless wreck.

Atch went up the slippery roof one rainy evening and removed Woog's cable channel connection. We told endless stories over the dinner table about how our respective fathers would whup us soundly for not observing the afternoon siesta rule. I described my belt-weals in graphic detail. Atch related the time he attempted to evade nap time by going over the family gate. His great escape was foiled when he slipped and grazed his temple on a pointed metal spoke. He ended the blood-splattered tale by showing wide-eyed Woog his scar.

Still, no go. Woog continued to remain awake during siesta hour. In the face of his delicate heath and a particularly nasty asthma attack.

We've even considered whupping his narrow ass. *Sigh*

Meanwhile, our younger son has taken on the highly entertaining hobby of single-fingeredly slaying ants. Ummm! He'd go, squashing their tiny bodies with his fat forefinger, even as his Manong Woog whimpers away from the creatures.

What a cha-cha this is! Two steps forward, one step back, swinging our hips for balance, raising our sons in this frenzied dance called life. And praying, constantly praying, that we get all the steps right.