R.I.P.
All about:
death of a loved one
Farewell, my beloved. We have had many years together and I shall miss you terribly. I long for you even now, staring at this stranger in front of me. Much stronger, much faster, but a stranger nonetheless, who will never take the place you hold in my heart.
Without you, I am limbless and naked, floating in a limbo of frustration and disinformation. Without you, I can barely function, and I stare at space for days at a time, mouth open, head aching. Wanting you. Needing you.
No one can replace what you meant to me, not for all the days and nights we shared together, locked so intimately in secrets only the two of us have shared. And you do know all my secrets, do you not? Dark and furtive, so very like me. But you kept all of them just the same. You've held on to them even in death. I doubt I will find any other like you.
In our impetuous youth, we both held each other enthralled up to the wee hours. In our old age, we tried to be more discreet, but remained together - a couple for better or for worse.
Do you remember the times my children tried to interrupt our conversations, and I came close to swatting them away for casting shadows on all the shimmer and brilliance we had between us? How dare they? You were there even before they came, and our bond has grown stronger through the years. That's how dear you are to me. And I never realized how much I valued you until your passing.
Everything I am and most of what I have is within you. If only I understood you better, cherished you more carefully, and sought intervention when the first signs of sickness showed on the horizon. You will never know how much of that regret hounds me in my waking hours and sends me hurtling down to the depths of despair each night.
And yet, I can never bring you back, no matter how much I try. You are gone for good, and I hold your body in my hands, lifeless and unyielding. How I mourn!
I am mourning still.
Without you, I am limbless and naked, floating in a limbo of frustration and disinformation. Without you, I can barely function, and I stare at space for days at a time, mouth open, head aching. Wanting you. Needing you.
No one can replace what you meant to me, not for all the days and nights we shared together, locked so intimately in secrets only the two of us have shared. And you do know all my secrets, do you not? Dark and furtive, so very like me. But you kept all of them just the same. You've held on to them even in death. I doubt I will find any other like you.
In our impetuous youth, we both held each other enthralled up to the wee hours. In our old age, we tried to be more discreet, but remained together - a couple for better or for worse.
Do you remember the times my children tried to interrupt our conversations, and I came close to swatting them away for casting shadows on all the shimmer and brilliance we had between us? How dare they? You were there even before they came, and our bond has grown stronger through the years. That's how dear you are to me. And I never realized how much I valued you until your passing.
Everything I am and most of what I have is within you. If only I understood you better, cherished you more carefully, and sought intervention when the first signs of sickness showed on the horizon. You will never know how much of that regret hounds me in my waking hours and sends me hurtling down to the depths of despair each night.
And yet, I can never bring you back, no matter how much I try. You are gone for good, and I hold your body in my hands, lifeless and unyielding. How I mourn!
I am mourning still.
*****
O.E.M., my faithful friend and beloved hard drive, died of a rapidly spreading bad sector cancer two weeks ago. I tried all forms resuscitation, to no avail. I have a new one now. But it isn't the same, it will never be the same.
Goodbye faithful friend. Ours will always be the sweetest love story ever told.
