Shhhh....Do Not Disturb. Homework is in Session

I have been doing homework for the past four years. Imagine that. A middle-aged working mother, almost a decade removed from any form of regimentalized education, except whatever she gets by way of her son.

Yep. Woog and I have been doing homework for the last four years he's been in school. I can't literally say that it's been an educating experience for me, being as all I've learned in kindergarten, I'm learning all over again. Literally. Letter by letter. Word by word. Color by color. Numer by number.


Sometimes I get so hung up about it, I recite it in my sleep. That's what going back to doing homework at the nursery and kindergarten level does to you.

I am gratified, however, by how much of an eye-opener it has been. Guiding my son in doing his nightly homework has woken me up to several very relevant facts about life, such as:

1.) You cannot expect a pre-schooler to understand everything you are explaining to him in a dumbed-down adult sort of way. You have to spell it out, show-and-tell it, present a hundred and one examples, draw it, dance, and perform in mini theater presentations, for him to get what you are talking about.

2.) A pre-schooler has the attention span of a gnat.

3.) You may think, when you get started, that you are the most patient person in the world. You are dead wrong.

4.) As an adult adept at finding reasons to avoid attending prayer/community gatherings, parties, PTA meetings, or a neighbor's potluck fundraiser, you deem yourself a veritable expert at forming the most creative and believable excuses. You'll lose hands-down to a four-year-old.

5.) Have snacks on hand. A pre-schooler claiming to be too full to finish his squash soup at dinner will get voraciously hungry during homework time 10 minutes later.

6.) A pre-schooler has the attention span of a gnat. Divided by two.

7.) Little boys are always eager to learn, as long as it involves Pokemon, Battle B-daman and the Power Rangers.

8.) During subject review, expect memory loss 90% of the time.

9.) A tantrum thrown on study night in the middle of exam week will give you sleepless nights about your ability to parent effectively.

10.) They forgive you every time. Even if you are the wicked witch of the west every weeknight at homework hour.

Be all that as it may, I feel Woog and I have found a steady, comfortable rhythm each night when we open our books after dinner. I look at homework as a salvation of sorts, a time for us to bond - argue, hug, talk, shout, kiss and make up, and ultimately learn – in a routine that has become a part of our mother-and-son life for the last four years.

Incidentally, I've discovered something else in the last couple of nights. Something I should have implemented long ago, dumb backward mother that I am. This week is exam week and instead of making mock exam reviewers for him to answer on the back of old office scratchpaper, I decided to do it on MS Word.

It basically involved click-and-drag test questions where he positioned the correct picture under it's corresponding column, underlining the correct answer, and drawing lines to connect pairs. I made such judicious use of clip-art and colorful drawing tools that he was reluctant to stop even after our review was over. It's been such a success for the last two nights, I think I just might have a winning formula here.

Instead of having a son who goes and does his homework because its a necessary evil, he might end up an enthusiastic little boy looking forward to homework hour each night. Which makes me mighty excited and more than a little breathless at the possibilities.

You do learn something new everyday.