2/28/2009

Like Riding A Bike

Writing is like riding a bicycle. When you don't write for a time, the calluses at the tips of your fingers where the constant banging away on the keys have flattened them, start to soften, and they round out again, just as fingers should.


And when you start to write once more, you wobble quite a bit, just as you would on a bike. Striving for balance and control, like Woog when he was learning to ride.



Sometimes there are ruts on the road, and you ride over them, forgetting to swerve. You don't actually fall, but you do get a good jostling. Up and down, bump and bump. And you put a protective hand on your figurative crotch, hoping you haven't damaged any of your soft tissues beyond repair...



January


Changes come fast, blowing all over me like inclement weather. Unexpected expenditures eat up at the wide margin of my budget surplus. I am broke all over again. Still hung-over from the holidays, I cannot seem to stop eating, and I take to wearing my old maternity dresses as no pants will close over my girth.


At work, the old frustrations bury me in so much mud and silt, and I defiantly send in my resume somewhere else. After two phone interviews, I am told, very gently, very tactfully, in a very round-about way, that I have been relegated to the reject pile. It seems spending 10 years in one company, working with the same people, has eroded my market value. I am ready for the scrap heap. Or a change. Whichever comes first.



January


We have new neighbors. They are dark-skinned Indians of the five-six variety, and they settle next door where Inday and family used to live. The adults keep to themselves, just as they keep their car covered in its canvas jacket. They prefer to ride their three motorcycles, even to bring their daughter to school.


They have two kids. Samantha is nine and a first grader. She enjoys singing at the top of her voice, especially during siesta time, and has a habit of entering the apartment without knocking. She immediately starts mothering Woog and Eli, as well as the little boy who lives in Door 1. Very Wendy Darling.


Harkirat is three and cries at the drop of a hat. He and Eli eye each other warily. Soon, Eli is crying at the drop of a hat, too. My son, the mimic.



Not in any way racist or disparaging, Atch takes to calling them “the Boomies”, short for Bombay. We don't realize how much Eli is picking up on adult conversation until one morning he points at the father and yells: “Tatay Boomie!” It is a good thing we are in the car and the windows are rolled up. Atch drops the moniker pretty quickly.



January


It is raining outside again, and the cold is seeping into our bones. My head is buried in work that I barely glance up at my whining younger son. He is clinging to the doorknob, all set to cry at the drop of a hat again.


Belatedly, I realize that he is whining the longest sentence I have ever heard out of him, “I waaaaaant to go ouuuuuuuuut!”


Bemused, I unlatch the door and send him out into the rain.



January


We meet our new landlord and landlady. They are in their mid-twenties, very up-and-coming. They hail from the capital and do not speak the local dialect, but they are keen on keeping things the way they are. Very wise. I am hoping it includes the rent.


He is soft spoken in an upper class college-boy sort of way, with long fingers and a penchant for designer labels. She is short and feisty, with a voice that would rival a fish seller's at the market. They are pregnant with their honeymoon baby. Sweet.

2/26/2009

Procrastination

It has been quite a while, hasn't it? You poor motley collection of words, you. I am languishing under the cool and sleepy palms of Procrastination, while the busy water throws itself at me on the sand, reminding me there is work to be done. It wants to pull me over to where it roils, dark and deep and vaguely threatening, urging me to stroke and stroke and stroke until I reach the other side.


And so… “I must go down to the sea again…for the call of the running tide, is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied…”


I lower my head and taste the sea. Time, it seems, has not banished the salty sensation of words on my tongue. Those same words flow down to my fingertips as I graze them over the flow of nouns and adjectives and punctuations I remember swimming in so long ago. And so I submerge myself once more into the wet warmth of words to take up where I left off before the lethargy of Procrastination took hold.....



December


We are sad. My sister-in-law Inday and her husband Sam, finish building their dream house. They are moving away from the apartment next door, bringing Tatay, Nanay, Ia, Elen, and the dogs.


With them, they take away a lot of laughter, the extra watchful eyes we count on when we are away, their cable TV subscription we illegally connect to, and the eggs/sugar/coffee/bell pepper that we borrow from them on occasion.


The dogs' fleas go with them, as well, but this minor detail doesn't detract from our melancholy. Even our kids are quiet. There is no Ia to play with, to fight with, or to tease until she cries. There is no more haven to run to when Mommy and Tatay are mad.


There are a lot of changes, it seems. The apartment compound we live in is being sold to a young couple who run a school for special children not far away. It is being sold by our landlady so her son would stop badgering her for more money to finance his drug habit. We are leery of our new landlords. They are so young!



December


Atch makes good on his promise. It takes me a couple of weeks to remind him, though, throwing my sister and her hugely brilliant engagement rock his way to tickle his mind.


Finally, he drives me to an exclusive jeweller who crafts me a ring on which rests a brilliantly clear stone. I make a pretense of looking at it through the loupe. Cut...color...clarity...cocka-poo... Is a girl supposed to know all these things? Apparently I should, and the wonderful world wide web provides me with the answers.


Still, I get my (post) engagement ring, and all is well with the world.




December


I am within budget by a generous margin. Most of my Christmas shopping is completed by October. Perhaps the coming year will be one where I am finally free of debt.



December


For Christmas, Woog gets the much-coveted Nintendo Game Boy he has been whining about for the last two years. Atch's wallet has a hefty dent in it. But no matter, Woog is happy. He leaves his other new toys and books lying around like so much discarded fluff.


His four-cornered, damp-towel parents immediately establish the rules: no playing on school days, only on weekends. He is so happy, he doesn't care. In fact, he prefers his new electronic contraption over our nightly story time.



12/12/2008

Conversations With My Sons



Evening. Time for bed.


Mom: Let's go, 'Pet. Let's put on your 'jamies.


Eli (jumping in the middle of the big bed): No!


Mom: C'mon, 'Pet. I'll read you a story, then we'll drink milk. But first you have to put on your 'jamies.


Eli (still jumping while evading Mom's grasp): No!


Mom (nearly falls over the bed trying to catch Eli): Please, 'Pet.


Eli (piles pillows on top of one another and gallops away on his makeshift horse): No! No! No! Heee-yaaah!


Mom (exasperated): Elijah, don't you love Mommy anymore?


Eli: No!


Mom (losing her temper): You suplado, you!


Eli: 'Plado! You!

(proceeds to plant his fist on Mom's face)



















********


Evening. Homework time.


Woog (busy opening his notebooks at the table): Teacher says I have to write 5 things about you, Mom.


Mom (busy typing on the PC behind him): Ok.


Woog (writing): Mom is....how do you spell “beautiful”, Mom?


Mom (preening): b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l.


Woog (still writing): Mom has curly hair.


Mom: Mmm-hmm.


Woog (still writing): Mom is fat.


Mom: *snort*


Woog (still writing): Mom loves me.


Mom: And you had better remember that!


Woog (still writing): Mom is....Mom is....Mom is kind.


Mom: Excuse me? I think you should tell the truth.


Woog: But I don't know what else to write.


Mom: Write “Mom is strict.”


Woog: But Mom....I want to write “Mom is kind”.


Mom: I'll whup you.


(pause)


Woog: How do you spell “strict”?



















12/09/2008

Not Much Difference Really

Panic. Panic. Panic.


Woog is moaning underneath the blankets. Clutching them up to his chin. Curled into himself like a shrimp. Shivering, burning, shivering.


Mom. Sniffle. Mom, my head is dizzy. My feet are cold. Mom. Mom.


Thirty-five years does not prepare you for the sight and sound of your son's first full-blown fever-chill. Not when the Biogesic fails to work. Or the cool sponge bath. Or the glasses of water. Or the two layers of blankets, one of which is thicker than his tongue.


Panic. Panic. Panic. Should I call an ambulance?


Eli is looking at his mother in wonder. She is fluttering about like a headless chicken. Totally useless female. He clambers up on the bed and tries to warm his brother by leaping upon the bundled-up febrile form. Maybe all Woog needs is a good romp to start him sweating again.


Ooomphff. Mom. Eli is bothering me. Go away, Eli.


Leave Manong Woog alone! He's sick!


'Tick, Eli says. 'Tick! 'Doog 'tick!


Mom, my bones are owwie. Mom.


I could give him a massage. Accupressure-something. Where did I read that?


I rummage through the medicine box, hunting for the ever-reliable cure-all. My bottle of Polar Bear. That menthol-eucalyptus essential embrocation that has seen us through headaches and toothaches, mosquito bites and back pain, clogged noses and sore throats. It will help Woog's owwie bones, at the very least.


But it is missing. I upend the medicine box on the bed. Gone. Who had it last? I rack my useless brains.


Oh! Woog did. For his asthma. I run to the adjoining room and start pawing through Woog's baskets.


Panic. Panic. Panic. Oh, my poor fevered and shivering son.


Woog! Where did you put the Polar Bear, I call, still ransacking through his well-ordered belongings. Woog! I yell louder, fear making my voice hoarse. Where is the Polar Bear?


Footsteps thundering on the floorboards behind me. Eli.


He lifts up his worried eyes and offers me:


Bear, he says, bear.


He is handing me Blue Bear. His comfort plushie of choice. Bear, he says again, gifting me with a frown of anxiety and his most precious possession.


I am nonplussed. I can hear Woog in the other room. Laughing, shivering, laughing.


Oh, 'Pet.


I gather Eli and Blue Bear in my arms, the object of my quest forgotten. Woog is still laughing hysterically in between bouts of shudders. I start to laugh, too.


Bear, Eli declares adamantly. He hands the toy to his brother, who is too bundled-up to reach out, and too shaken up with mirth to take it.


Eli eyes the laughing lunatics. Perhaps this is an inside joke, he thinks. If it is, he doesn't get it. But he starts to laugh anyway. If you don't get 'em, join 'em. The one who laughs last, and all that...


Our laughter subsides to snickers more than half an hour later. My panic subsides with it.


Woog is fever-free the next morning, and decides to do a whole day TV-thon. All is well with the world. Eli and Blue Bear with it.


Not much difference really